Archive | Leadership RSS feed for this section

Empowerment: Motivation and Challenge

28 Apr

(Part 2 of 3)

Telling people how to do their job will never be as motivating as teaching them why the job matters.  High performers typically have their own high standards for performance, but they also feel accountable to their leader, without feeling micromanaged.  Motivation also comes from giving employees stretch assignments.  Challenging (but doable) tasks set people up for success, help them grow in confidence, and have been documented to have a positive impact on their emotional mood.   Because self-confidence is based on a judgment, and because self-confidence is key to performance improvements, each success builds our confidence and helps us judge ourselves more accurately.  As leaders, it is our responsibility to help those under us build their own self-confidence. 

We need to stop viewing people as “in our way” and start viewing them as “vital resources” in accomplishing our joint projects. 

When dealing with people, there are many more unknowns. Enabling a motivated Type A self-starter is entirely different than motiving someone who lacks confidence in their own abilities.  Wanting to enable others is an important first step, but learning how to enable others will be an ongoing project. 

There is certainly a place for consistency and standardization, but there is also a place for realizing that it is okay to do things differently.  And it is okay to allow someone to do things differently. Leaders cannot be overly sensitive. We must be sincerely delighted when someone does a task better than we had done it previously.  There is a certain pride in seeing someone blossom under our leadership and knowing we played a pivotal role in that transformation. The key is to not rest on those laurels, but to jump right back into coaching others.  And to teach those we mentor to also mentor.  This way, we can expand our influence past what we are physically capable of.

Empowerment: “Getting Out of Their Way”

27 Apr

(Part 1 of 3)

“The essence of competitiveness is liberated when we make people believe that what they think and do is important – and then get out of their way while they do it” (Jack Welch).

“As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others” (Bill Gates).

Competitive people, like me, treat everything as a game. We don’t mind failing as long as we learn from those experiences and improve the next time. We thrive on challenges. But sometimes we fail at encouraging others and coaching them from the sidelines.  We’d rather play someone else’s game for them.

We need to become proactive in purposefully providing feedback, coaching others through challenges, listening and asking prodding questions to help people determine what they should have done differently (rather than simply providing the answers). This involves more time and energy than doing it ourselves (similar to the process a parent goes through when teaching a child to set the table or dress himself). And “getting out of their way to let them just do it” is especially difficult for us. 

Enabling others to act is more rewarding than doing everything ourselves. In order to accomplish exemplary things,a leader needs a strong team. One person cannot follow through with a large and dynamic vision. Especially in a corporate setting, leaders have to enable others to act. They have to use the word “we”much more than the word “I”. Rather than micro-managing, a leader must help their team members reach their potential by feeling empowered, capable and committed.  People need to be instilled with a sense of confidence, empowered to act creatively, and challenged to take responsibility for the quality of their work.

Leaders accept and act on the paradox of power: you become more powerful when you give your own power away. Leaders need to be mentors and coaches. First, we learn to manage ourselves and to be aware of our strengths, weaknesses, and personal goals. But we don’t stop there. Next, as leaders, we turn to those we are leading and help them become aware as well.  “People tend to gravitate toward the aspects of their job they like the most, namely, the aspects that tie in to their dreams, identity, and aspirations. By linking people’s daily work to these long-term goals, coaches keep people motivated” (Goleman).

Difficult “Dislikers” into Active Advocates

14 Apr

We all have the pleasure of dealing with difficult people.

In fact, sometimes, we may be the difficult people that others have to deal with.  (Ouch.)

The hard truth, that no one tells you as a child (but you figure out pretty quickly in school), is that not everyone in the world will like you.  In fact, there will be people who actively dislike you and you can do nothing about it. 

Part of being a savvy adult is knowing when you can change peoples’ opinions of you, when you can’t, and when it matters. I’ve found in my own experience that people can be broken into one of four categories:

It’s really only those who actively dislike me, yet I have to work closely with, that I need to convince otherwise. That’s my “improvement” category. It’s unrealistic to assume that everyone will like me.  It’s unrealistic to assume that I can even change everyone’s opinions in that particular quadrant.  But that is where I have chosen to exert effort.

And it has paid off.

At my current job, there were 4 people in that category.  4 people with the exact same initials.  In fact, those same initials were identical to the 2 people who disliked me in a previous job.  Weird, huh?

But nearly three years later, those 4 people are some of my biggest advocates.  In fact, I’d completely forgotten that they disliked me so much early on.  Until this piece of paper fell out of a work journal (where I note my personal accomplishments, goals for performance reviews, any interactions that went poorly and I want to learn from).

How did I turn difficult “dislikers” into active advocates?

First, I listened. I learned that some of them didn’t personally dislike me. There was past hurts and issues left over from a previous time period. A lot of it had nothing to do with me.  This helped me not take the dislike personally.

Second, I acted on what I’d heard. I respected the individuals who disliked me. I attended to their complaints, I fixed processes, I actively engaged in anticipating their needs in advance. I followed through. I finished projects ahead of schedule. I went above and beyond what was asked of me.

Third, I didn’t speak badly of others. I didn’t listen to gossip, I politely excused myself from bashing sessions, I refused to discuss the negative traits of others. I gave everyone the same respect rather than forming allegiances and alliances.

People aren’t dumb. They know when you are being genuine. When you are working hard. When you are confident in yourself.  And they will respect that. Even if they don’t see eye to eye on your personal preferences or opinions, they won’t be able to help but respect your ethics.

It’s not a far jump from difficult “disliker” to passive participant to active advocate.  It can be done.

And if you are ever going to lead anyone, ever going to work with someone, ever planning on meeting new people and making new friends, this is a skill you can’t afford to neglect.  So don’t.

Buying and Selling Vision

8 Apr

My MBA classmates fervently argued their  opinion that you can’t have passion for an idea that you didn’t give birth to.

I disagree.  If that was true, then very few of us would have fulfilling jobs.  Very few of us would be in an MBA program.  Hollywood celebrities would not so eagerly dress in fashion styles that they did not personally design. And none of us would be using social media like Facebook and Twitter passionately, because we didn’t invent it.

Gaining a passion for something that we did not create is about being sold a vision.  The best market branding sells a vision – a better/different/happier/healthier vision of the world – because of a product or service. We can choose to passionately buy into the vision or not.

There are a lot of skills necessary in leading others well.  There’s empowerment and mentoring and handling setbacks.  But enlisting others to a vision comes first.

Martin Luther King Jr’s speech is so moving, so timeless, so needed because it provided a clear vision of a better future for America and why change was needed. It engaged people in the present, using a lot of past historical concepts, and propelled them towards a better future.

The same is true about Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain defending Little Round Top.  Would he have been able to defend Little Round Top without the help of the mutineers who were added to his regiments? I don’t think so.  And his statement to them was very stirring: he described “a new kind of army” one doing something revolutionary in “setting other men free” and appealed to their belief that all men have value. In essence, it was the same argument that Martin Luther King Jr made.

And then there was Shackleton.  Recruiting men for a hazardous journey to the coldest place on earth was only possible because Shackleton had a clear vision and they were caught up in it.

The other pieces of inter-personal leadership are just as important, but they come into play after you begin leading people.  Providing a vision is necessary in order to have a group to lead. You can’t have a leader without followers.  Even if you are thrust into a situation with “ready-made followers,” you will not retain them if you do not provide vision.

Once followers have been inspired by a vision, they need to be empowered to act.  This will take different approaches for different people and part of emotional intelligence and inter-personal skills is learning how people need to be led and coached:

  • Some will require side-by-side mentoring before they are ready to initiate things. When I interviewed my boss about his military parachuting career, he talked a lot about building self-confidence in the troops under his command by making stretch goals (but ones that he knew they could reach with some coaching). As each goal was met, their self-confidence and belief in their abilities grew, and they could stretch further to meet the next goal.
  • Some will be ready to take initiative on their own. They just may need the leader’s backing, approval, and occasional “check-ups” to discuss progress, role play potential  pros and cons to different approaches and discuss implementation in advance. For some, side-by-side mentoring would be too stifling and lessen their desire to contribute.
  • Some will need to be reminded again and again of the vision. Why the task is worth doing. Why the leader is worth following. Why their particular role matters and why they should always look to expand and improve upon that role.
  • Some needs lots of encouragement to feel empowered. Some feel that encouragement seems false and would prefer to “just get on with it.”

Not everyone has the same learning style. Just as a teacher employs a variety of different techniques to teach a classroom of children how to read, a leader needs to learn an array of techniques for effectively leading a diverse group of people.

But begin with vision.  Get people so excited about an idea that, when they talk about it to others, others will assume it was their creative genius. A leader succeeds when the word “our” enters the discussion.

 

 

Handling Criticism: Winning!

6 Apr

Handling criticism correctly is not just a built-in defense mechanism but a learned trait just like communication skills.  It’s easy to get upset, to get defensive, to assume the worst about ourselves, to want to hide from the world but none of those ways are effective because they either ignore the criticism completely or give too much power away.

On Tuesday afternoon, a critical work email arrived in my inbox.  I read it.  It was long and although not a personal attack, had I been in a low self-esteem mood, I’m sure I would have taken it that way.

I read it and then I closed the email and walked away.  Never respond to a critical email right away. Unless you want to acknowledge that you received it and will be responding later after you’ve had time to evaluate it. Don’t respond to anything in the heat of the moment. Had I responded right then, I would have been defensive and a tad annoyed.  (For others, this might come out in anger or a personal attack.)

I thought about the email while running and which parts were justifiable.  I distanced myself from the situation and tried to view the event (which prompted the email) through unbiased eyes. I thought about each point in the email and broke it into: doable changes, impossible changes, criticism that didn’t seem warranted.

Then I forwarded the email to my boss with my thoughts on what I could change going forward, justification for things I couldn’t change, and a listing of the critiques I felt were unjust.  When he responded in complete agreement, I knew that I was ready to respond to the email.

I thanked the writer for his feedback.  I began and ended the email by listing the changes that I would implement based on his feedback.  I justified my reasons for the things I couldn’t change.  For instance, he wanted to know why not everyone had been required to bring business cards to a particular networking event.  I explained that I had considered this in the early planning stages but knew that this would discourage a third of our workforce from participating since they don’t have business cards.  I carefully rewrote this section to ensure that it didn’t come off defensive but just as me simply providing him with the facts that he probably hadn’t been aware of.

I ignored the harshest critiques that I felt were unwarranted.  There is no place for an argument over email.  If something still needs to be cleared up, he can choose to do it face to face. It’s hard to not defend ourselves, to not refute things point by point, to not paint ourselves in a perfect light.

We can’t force people to like us. We can’t force people to always respond well to our leadership or to understand why we do things a certain way.  If someone wants to understand, they will approach you differently than someone who just wants to pick a fight. Adjust your response to the manner in which they convey their criticism.

And don’t be afraid to just walk away. The worst thing you can do is give in to the “All” approach.  Don’t decide it is ALL correct and start pitying yourself.  Don’t decide it is ALL false and ignore it completely. Get second and third opinions, role play what a third party would say, try to weed through the frustration to find something useful that you can sincerely thank the criticizer for.

Even if you can’t always be proud of the actions that led to the critique, you have a second chance to be proud of how you handled the critique. (Trust me.  If you remain calm and rational, if you respond with effusive thanks, if you provide well-thought out details on how you will fix/implement/improve something based on the critique, you will defuse the frustration before it boils over.)

And that makes you the winner.

Jelly-Filled Moments

5 Apr

When I was little, I went to the hospital monthly. I didn’t like strangers touching me, being separated from my Dad, how many attempts it took them to find veins and thread catheters into my tiny body.

But it’s not the hospital gowns and cheery nurses that stand out in my memory. It’s the jelly-filled donut my Dad and I would split afterwards. It’s the walk along the railroad tracks in Dover that we’d take, just the two of us. It’s the feelings of safety and peace that I will forever associate with jelly-filled donuts.

I don’t like donuts. In fact, I’m not sure I ever did. My vices now are Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cracklin’ Oat Bran although indulgences are infrequent. But I was always willing to take a few bites of unpleasant donut to get to the fruit-filling. I’ve always loved fruit. And I’ll always have my jelly-filled memories.

As an adult, I often find myself too busy to enjoy the jelly-moments. Food is inhaled for energy, vehicles are used for transportation, failure often jostled out success when competing for memory storage space.

We spend our days putting out fires…yet the building never burns down. We spend our days wishing for one more hour…yet we manage to get the essentials taken care of. We communicate in order to obtain information or dump our problems, we engage people in order to network with them, we live to work when we should be working to provide for life.

The jelly-filling is out there. It’s just sometimes hiding behind a failure or even a success. A presentation well delivered may be just that. Or it may speak to growth in your presentation skills, your artistic bent, your ease with the material. A performance review may be a chance to reevaluate where you are headed. Is doing a great job at work you don’t love really worth it? Leading a team may involve construction, potholes and heavy lifting. But is there jelly-filling in what you are building?

We call this searching for the silver lining. But maybe we need to search less and just quietly observe what moves us, what matters to us, what motivates us.

Last year, there were work awards and school achievements and I finished first place in my inaugural (and only, so far) bike race. But when a friend asked what I did last year, I remembered: eating Oscar’s Garbage Can ice cream in sizzling Miami with my Mom, camping/hiking a national park, a delightful afternoon after thanksgiving with all my siblings, hysterical laughing at Hershey Park with my cousins, holding a baby while playing Redneck Life, seeing a coworker conquer an incredible setback, seeing another coworker grow in confidence, leading a work team through some rocky implementations, running in the White Mountains twice in a month, a friend picking up when I called in the middle of the night because of bad dreams.

If you are having trouble finding the jelly-filling, ask another. We can often see it more clearly for others than for ourselves. Or listen when you talk. Key words like: love, excited, fun, challenging, success, proud, happy, unexpected often appear in a sentence right before a jelly-filled experience.

You don’t have to like donuts (or work, laundry, dishes, drama, homework, rejection, despair) in order to appreciate something about them.

But if there’s suddenly a world-wide Cinnamon Toast Crunch shortage, you will be blamed.

Family Dynamics: Mafia or Waltons?

4 Apr

“I just wish our company operated more like a family.”

I’ve been hearing this response a lot lately.  At first, it brings to mind thoughts of the Mafia.  Because that’s just the way I think.  But I assume most people are envisioning a Waltons setting – a loving family peacefully gathered around the table sharing their lives.

Both images are correct, in my limited opinion.  (And this comes from someone who has a relatively stable, happy, normal family.  Any bets on how long before my parents read this and comment on my use of the word relatively? They may live to regret ever teaching me how to write…)

When asked to describe family, this is usually what I say:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…
OR
Family is the most rewarding, enriching, infuriating and exasperating part of life.

A loving family is a wonderful thing.  I feel saddened on a daily basis when I learn about those who have never experienced the security, stability, and safety found in a good family.  I can understand how companies want to operate this way.  Who doesn’t want to work for a company where you feel at home?  Where you feel homesick when you’re away?  Where you can tease and play with coworkers like they are siblings? Where you can gather around a table and make unanimous decisions after rationally discussing various viewpoints.  Where you trust those in leadership above you because “Father Knows Best” and “Mother is Never Wrong.” Where you can go separate ways knowing that others have your backs and will always listen and help when you call in distress?  Where you have the wisdom of the generations and the energy of the youth all in one room?

Family is good stuff.

But family, even loving family, is also tough.  There’s drama.  Being intimately involved in the details of people’s lives means you know about the drama. There are communication issues and petty jealousies and hurtful remarks and careless criticisms and alliances and attacks and it all matters a whole lot more because you’re supposed to be on the same team, you’re supposed to be more loyal to these people than to anyone else,  and you’re kinda stuck on the same team for life.

And that’s why companies can’t and shouldn’t attempt to “be like family.”  Leave the personal details at home or save them to share with a close coworker over lunch.  Acknowledge that you  have not signed a company contract in blood – you are not necessarily on the same team with these people for life.  Understand that, unlike family, you were not raised in the same way and your worldview won’t necessarily match.  Be intelligent enough to know when to share and when to be silent.

If you are a leader, do not take it personally if some teams seem to be having multiple Waltons moments.  They gather in conference rooms filled with easy laughter and exit with wide grins and pats on the back.  And then you look at your own team which seems engaged in guerilla or trench warfare, or a vicious game of Survivor.  Alliances are made and traded.  Attacks are cunning and swift.

One day, it may be the best of times.
The next day, it may be the worst.

There is an ebb and flow to interpersonal dynamics.  Work towards the middle.  Don’t set yourself up for failure with too high expectations.  Don’t set your team up for failure by having no expectations.  Don’t assume that the Walton’s image is ideal.  A nice meal (or a nice meeting) without people speaking up and challenging the status quo is just a nice meal (or a nice meeting).  Nice doesn’t clear the way for innovation and forward-progress.  Then again, the weapon in a violin case usually discourages forward-progress, too.

Family is the most rewarding, enriching, infuriating and exasperating part of life. Both in home and work life, let’s make sure the rewarding and enriching always rises above the infuriating and exasperating.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. And often simultaneously.

(If you don’t believe me, try being a Phillies and a Red Sox fan right now. As the Godfather would say: “Sox, you can start acting like men now!”)

 

 

 

Opening Day Optimism

1 Apr

An unexpected but well-fought victory brings hope. But first, let’s talk baseball.

Opening Day only comes once a year. Months of preparation, talk, buildup, excitement and strategizing – and then, it arrives.

Opening Day used to officially end the season of Sox optimism. You could fool yourself during spring training that this year they’d play well. They’d beat the Yankees in a game and we’d begin whispering our deepest Sox dreams to each other. And then they’d engineer a few epic defeats and crush our spirits. But because they are the Boston Red Sox and we are nothing if not loyal intense fans, we’d never wallow in bitterness…for too long.

And then 2004 and 2007 happened. And suddenly we began talking about our team like the rest of the baseball world. Instead of disasters and curses, we discussed rookies and postseason rotations. It was delightfully normal. It felt really good.

You forget how refreshing a victory can be after you become accustomed to defeat.

2010 wasn’t a great year for the Sox. The main culprit? Inglorious injuries. When a former equipment manager (Daniel Nava) started a game, well, you knew the season was hitting rock bottom. Dustin Pedroia broke his foot. Jacoby Ellsbury broke some ribs. (All the female fans deserted at about this point). Victor Martinez broke his thumb, Mike Cameron had a hernia, Youk had a nasty muscle tear. Ryan Westmoreland had a malformation removed from his brain that nearly caused blindness.

You get the picture.

But 2011, the 100th season for the Red Sox looks promising. Despite the fact that they are being touted as the team to watch (along with my beloved Phillies) and I prefer them to be in their typical wild card/underdog position, I’m excited. 2004 and 2007 weren’t that long ago. I can still taste the victory.

An unexpected but well-fought victory brings hope. And hope is powerful. Some people can cling to it longer than others. As leaders, we need to be hope-bringers and victory-reminders. Sell the vision again and again. Refresh the memories of victories (against all odds, maybe?). Do not let your team or your coworkers or your friends become accustomed to and expectant of defeat. Years of studying military strategy and battles have shown me one thing over and over again – there is a psychological and physical advantage to having hope. To thinking you have the upper hand. To acknowledging that you’re as low as you can go and it’s time to pick your head up, set your sights on something big, and begin climbing.

Bring hope. Remind your people of the victories. Expect injuries. Anticipate setbacks. Don’t view them as game-enders, just game-changers. Don’t think positive thoughts in your head. Spread the enthusiasm and determination and future you’re envisioning.

And celebrate Opening Day. It’s a new season.

Gratitude: The Key to Better Living

31 Mar

20110331-011447.jpg

If you’re a leader, or plan on leading in the future, you have to encourage those under you. And you have to employ a myriad of techniques. Not everyone wants praise in the same manner. Some need it more frequently than others. But everyone deserves it – whether for meeting a goal, keeping their cool, implementing a cost-saving change, tackling the boring bits, or just getting on with the daily grind without needing any prodding.

Face to face encouragement is essential. Acknowledge things right when they happen. Thank people for stepping up and pitching in. But don’t only do it verbally.

20110331-012312.jpg

Written truth is powerful. It can be shared. It can be looked back on. It can be preserved word for word how it was intended. Write a thank you note or a quick postcard. Even if you are only sending it internally. Send an email to a team but include a line for each individual thanking them for their unique role. If you, as a leader, can identify their individual contributions, you will gain respect. When thanking someone for going above and beyond, CC their boss. And ask HR to include a copy in their personnel folder. Keep a running Word Doc or notebook or Evernote list of the accomplishments of those you write performance appraisals for.

And it’s not just employees. Thank your spouses and your kids and your waitress and your public transport driver. Keep it sincere. Make it a positive habit until it becomes a natural reflex. Always err on the side of gratitude.

You may not live longer, but you’ll certainly live better.

When A “Business Sprint” Isn’t Sustainable

28 Mar

In business, just like in running, you don’t have to sprint to finish the race.

I used to think that sprinters were the “real runners” and the rest of us were wannabes. I’d see them powering past, feet barely touching the ground, and compare with my own forward ploddings.  It didn’t seem like the same sport.  They looked like runners.  And they got places faster.

But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that endurance counts.  Endurance gets you to the same finish line eventually.  Some of us warm up slower.  When I ran my 36 miler in February, mile 36 was faster than mile 21 which was faster than mile 9.  They were all faster than mile 1.  It takes me 3-4 miles to hit my stride, to settle into my pace and for my brain to switch into “running” mode.  At about the point where a regular 5K ends, I hit my sweet spot and am ready to run.

Not every business project involves sprinting.  A fair number of them involve a lot of forward plodding.  Sometimes you have to trust that you will hit the sweet spot, where you will finally get into the groove of things, and in the meantime, you just propel yourself forward in as painless a manner as you can manage.

Not everyone who appears to be sprinting, actually is.

I’ve learned this the hard way.  I’ve tried to pace myself competitively with another runner…who it turned out was running a much shorter race.  No wonder he was a Speedy Sam!  I’ve tried to catch up with another runner on a trail before – until, completely out of breath and growing very frustrated with myself as he gained ground, I crested a hill and saw him far below me…on a mountain bike.

Some people are built to sprint. Some projects involve deadlines requiring a sprint.  Some people are genuine go-getters, peppy people. But also, sometimes people appear to be sprinting when they aren’t.  We’ve all seen it – the false enthusiasm in the conference room when the boss is around followed by a meandering plod back to their cubicle where they attempt to do as little as possible. A steady forward pace is much better than quick sprints followed by long breaks to ‘catch their breath’.

No matter how you get there, it’s the same finish line you’re crossing.

Some will get there faster.  Some will get there slower.  Some will finish in a blur. Others will remember every little detail, every little uphill, every little pebble in their shoe.  But it’s the same finish line – the same achievement – for everyone.

Plan your projects wisely.  Consider efficiency (how to make the most forward progress in a sustainable manner) and your energy level (are there certain patches you can sprint) and enjoyment (how can you finish and still be excited and keyed up for the next race).

Then start putting one foot in front of the other.  Propel yourself forward.  Always forward.  Stay fueled, stay focused, stay faithful.

You will finish. Even if sprinting isn’t sustainable.
But if you do sprint, wave to me as you pass.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.